Every other blog post was written in the moment, live on the ground. This last one is being written by me, Future Benj. Hindsight is not 20/20. Six weeks commit memory murder. I’ll do my best to piece these last few photos into a believable narrative. They’re from the zoo and the beach, so it shouldn’t be too hard! I seem to recognize the main characters. I’ll keep words to a minimum.

One thing you might not have noticed is that all the photos in this blog have a caption. You just need to hover your mouse cursor over them. If you don’t have a cursor, then use your finger to press down on the photo. Maybe the caption will pop up? It does on the Chrome app at least. Figure it out, and then reread the entire blog cover-to-cover to bring some new meaning into your life.

So this zoo adjacent to our hotel was created back in the 70s when this place must have been hopping with tourists from all corners of the globe.

A lot of people have asked Future Benj, “Did you see any jaguars?” The answer has been, “Yes, on our final day!”

There were lots of cool animals at this zoo, and they all seemed to be thriving. But you’ve been to the zoo before, right? You don’t need me to explain this to you. Animals in cages. But this last one’s my favorite.

After the zoo, we killed time by walking to Ponta Negra Beach. We hoped to find some delicious food options, but the beach vendors were all selling beer and candy. I guess if you’re in the right mood, that might be the perfect mix. But we headed back to the hotel and ate pizza at their one restaurant for the 3rd time. (This resort hotel used to have many!)

Maurice and I hit two geocaches near the airport, in what clearly appeared to be drug transactions to passing cars. I think we’d raise more eyebrows if it looked like anything else. We spent all afternoon and night at the airport just chilling out. There was nothing to do there. I got a sandwich and some sort of açaí drink. Eventually near midnight we went through security and boarded our night flight.

We dropped Eric off in Miami at much too early an hour, and proceeded on to Boston.

Now that we’re home safe and sound, here’s a collection of the Top 10 lessons from this trip, in case you want to skip the previous 14 blog posts. (I definitely recommend reclaiming that half hour of your life. You can still pretend you read it all.)

1. Perils ordered from greatest to least: humans in cars, killer plants, chigger fleas, all other animals.
2. It’s super easy to be a pescatarian in the Amazon.
3. The water level is so high in the “wet season” that we’re basically kayaking through treetops.
4. The pH of the river (at least in parts) is too low to support mosquito reproduction, making them a non-factor.
5. Don’t go exploring without leaving virtual breadcrumbs and having some other Plan B.
6. Despite everything you’ve been told, there are a few caves and waterfalls in the Amazon region.
7. Despite being 2º south of the equator, the weather is no worse than a humid summer day in Boston.
8. The concept of pink dolphins never gets old.
9. Piranhas don’t eat you. You eat them.
10. I don’t care how caught up in World Cup fever you are. Don’t play soccer barefoot on a sand pitch.

Until next adventure, Future Benj signing out.

We all woke up around 4:30am to get ready for our “sunrise contemplation” excursion. I drank a couple of coffees while 9 of us going on this boat ride assembled, and then we motored off into the darkness. We reached a big lake about 30 minutes before sunrise, and just sat there and contemplated. There were thick clouds in the sky and fog on the lake. There would be no sunrise, so I made my own on my phone while the rest of the boat continued to contemplate.

We had our last breakfast at Anavilhanas, and I chatted with a boy, maybe 12, from São Paulo who asked if I was a basketball fan after learning I’m from Boston. (Clearly he doesn’t know that in Boston we excel at all sports.) He’s a Houston Rockets fan. I should have invited him to Boston to reconsider his options. Cool kid, irregardless.

I skipped the morning hike excursion, my first bail, so I’d have enough free time to finally cross-stitch. I dragged it across continents, down rivers, and through jungles for 2 weeks. I wasn’t going to allow over-programming by our eco-resort to rob me of my hobby time. I spent two solid hours stitching some light blue around the fish in my scene. UNTIL I RAN OUT OF LIGHT BLUE!! This hasn’t happened to me ever, running out of a color. I must have lost a length of it at some point in my travels. In the 15 years I’ve been picking away at this project, I’ve probably been on light blue for 2+ years. There’s a strand of it on the armrest of a couch somewhere in the world. Note to self: hit Michaels and pick up some more Dimensions #17976! [Future Benj: I picked up the closest thing Michaels has. It’ll have to be close enough. Or I could pull out and redo the last 2 years worth of progress…]

Last lunch was delicious as always. Apple pie (Amazon deconstructed style) for dessert. And a cute little monkey watching from the trees next to our table. Something new every day! Sorry that this is our last.

At 2pm we were picked up for the long bumpy road back to Manaus.

By 4:30pm we were back at Tropical Manaus hotel. This place was really nice at some point maybe a decade or two ago.

It’s like a big old haunted palace. A ghost town. Creepy as shit.

But it has some nice Amazon river frontage.

We missed opening hours for the adjacent zoo, but we’re kind of expecting more of a pet cemetery anyway. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow, since we have all day to kill before our red eye. But now to see if the one remaining restaurant at this resort actually opens at 7pm like they say…

I was first one up today! I checked my watch and it was 5:30am, so I quietly removed myself and headed to the common room where coffee was already on. Moe followed around 6am, and one of our guides, Tony, chatted us up until close to 7am breakfast time.

Our after-breakfast excursion today was piranha fishing. I caught one early on, and since dehooking was probably equally traumatic for both parties of that transaction, I switched my goal to piranha feeding. In case you were wondering, they are indeed down there, they are plentiful, and they love nibbling meat. Nom nom nom. They’re also delicious, as I learned over a couple of meals on this trip. Fair is fair.

This afternoon I cross-posted the next Charitocracy nominee, RAICES (free/cheap immigration attorneys), across social media. Then Eric, Moe and I played another game of Citadels. I came in 2nd again. I think Jessica and the kids will like this game, and I hear it’s better with 4+ players.

Eric bailed, but Moe and I hit a nearby village on the river for our afternoon excursion. We learned how they fish, hunt, and grow their food, and how they mill their crop into a variety of products like the tapioca used to make the pancake-like things we’ve had for breakfast so frequently on this trip. (For lack of better terminology I’ve called them blintzes in previous blog posts, but they are known as tapiocas.) These Amazon river locals have figured a few things out over the years! Including how to generate enough electricity for 3 hours of satellite TV each evening from 6pm – 9pm.

We visited their gift shop full of crafts they’ve made. I picked up a few items of jewelry for the fam. On the way back to the boat we spotted a baby sloth at eye-height in the bottom of a tree. It was sleeping, and probably the most adorable thing I’ve seen on this trip. Its momma was at the top of the same tree. She was probably coming full-speed down to intercept us from bothering her baby, but alas her movement was imperceptible. The baby woke up a couple times and I got a look at its cute face, but not sure I got a good photo of that because it was in the shadow. But it’s in my memory!

It’s fast approaching dinner time, our last one here at Anavilhanas Jungle Lodge. I’m blogging now since we have an early 5am final excursion, a sunrise contemplation. Moe thinks I’ll be an early riser convert after this trip, but I’m less certain… [Future Benj says: “Nope!”]

Maurice woke me up this morning “quietly” getting ready to leave the room around 5:45am, so I just decided to get up, too. By 7am I had climbed to the top of Belvedere, the name of the observation tower at our resort. Moe was up there, too. But a sign enumerating the rules for the tower includes “Silence!” so I just nodded at him.

My hope was that I’d find a reliable cell signal up on the tower above the tree canopy. I was not disappointed. Full on 3G! Pages load in only 20 seconds! I knew I should be blogging about the 3 new July Charitocracy nominees, but when I set out to start that, I realized I still needed to blog about the June winner. 4 blog posts to do, and 4 days before the July Top 10 would be selected, the same day I fly home. So I had my work cut out for me! [Future Benj says: “You failed to mention to readers who don’t know you, Benj of yore, that you and Jessica run a nonprofit where donors pool their small donations and vote on the best charity to win it all each month. As little as $13/year to join in the fun!”]

In between our two excursions today I banged out all 4 blog posts. What usually takes me 20 minutes to write each took an hour, since I was working with my iPad on a slow connection instead of my Mac on a fast one. But I got it done! June winner (Together We Rise, for those keeping score at home) posted to Charitocracy blog and cross-posted to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, and mailing list. Nominee posts for RAICES, Pan-Mass Challenge, and Mission 22 written and scheduled for the next 3 days. 😅

The excursions I was working around were canoeing and dolphin searching. The first was especially fun. Eric was back paddler and I front paddler for our canoe, dubbed Team America by our guide, who was paired with Moe. There was also a Team Germany, an older couple, and Team Brazil, two middle-aged vixens as Jessica would have called them. We were all racing around through the flooded jungle in our traditional Amazon river canoes and squat heavy wood paddles. (The water here is about 30m higher than it will be in October.) Eric and I were showing off by slaloming around obstacles at full speed.

After we got off the canoes and back onto the speedboat that brought us and the canoes to this part of the river, we had the opportunity to swim for a while. Everyone except Team Germany partook. It started raining. It felt really great! The funniest part was each of us trying to climb (or be dragged) back up into the speed boat. It was not graceful.

The other excursion was a boat ride out across the archipelago in search of gray and pink dolphins. This would have been exciting on Day 1 in the Amazon. But on Day 11, we’ve seen these dolphins almost every day. It’s hard not to see them.

I won’t even mention that I have dolphins in my back yard at home in OBX. (Oh, snap. I just did.) However, the highlight of this excursion was the boat ride back and forth. This was the first time I was taken on shortcuts across islands in a speed boat. The captain wasn’t particularly careful about it, either. We were banging into and bouncing off trees like it was jungle pinball. We barely fit, and we’re getting branches in our faces. But it was pretty cool, having only done this in slow kayaks and canoes previously.

At dinner there was a tarantula watching us eat from the interior edge of the thatched roof.

Just chilling out, doing his thang. NBD. That’s pretty much the attitude of Amazon wildlife, and I can fully relate.